My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
