Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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