I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
we're so committed to being not committed
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