So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
