When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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