I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
