i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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