Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Green mimosas i think yes
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
