it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
