all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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