Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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