found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
