we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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