Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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