Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
