I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
