Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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