we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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