I puked a lego.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
