rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
