let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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