i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
