You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
