Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
