She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
did i walk over a car last night?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
