On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
