after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
