You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
