he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
