My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
