My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
