Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
