should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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