She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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