no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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