dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
