the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
