just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
