i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
a search helicopter?!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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