new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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