I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
