the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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