Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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