i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
