a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
