but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
