party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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