ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
