either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
