i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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