Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
