Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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