ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize