I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize