What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
