watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
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Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
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We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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