so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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