I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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