I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
