Can Purell be used as lube?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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