Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
