Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
