And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
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Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
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I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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