Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.